You're a great writer, and I'd like to see more from you, if you want to publish more. Acting with care for others is complex because it's hard to know or understand someone else's needs—they may not understand their own needs, or they may express them figuratively or indirectly, or say the opposite of what they mean (sarcastically or passive-aggressively), or not express their needs at all, because they're afraid of their own needs and desires, or they aren't ready to ask, or they want you to figure it out for them, or they're testing you to see what you'll do. And then you have to know your own skills and your own limits, give what you can, and learn by doing. You learn more about yourself, the other person, and the relationship. When it seems unfigureoutably complicated, sometimes the best way people can care for each other is just to tell each other the truth and start from there. The closet door serves a purpose until it doesn't. The self can incubate in darkness, and some parts of the self like to stay in darkness, but some parts of the self want light.