You have the right to make your own life choices and change your body at your speed. Others have the right to do their stuff at their speed. Everyone should have freedom, privacy, and respect. No one should be bullied, and I’m sorry that people who you might have hoped would have shown you community have made you feel excluded or shamed for how you feel, think and talk about your own gender.

I don’t have a “trans ideology.” I read this article to find out what you believe “trans ideology” is. It seems it’s defined nowhere here, nor is there a link to where you may have defined it elsewhere, so I still don’t know what you mean by that.

I transitioned years ago. Labels like transsexual, transgender, or trans are basically accurate for me, though they carry different nuances depending on context. Here, I’m not arguing that one label is better than another for me nor for anyone else. I may have opinions about those nuances, but that's not my point right now.

People who are nonbinary or trans [-sexual, -gender, -fill-in-the-blank] have nuanced thoughts, and each of us is free to use language to express all the nuance we’re capable of: “trans masculine,” “trans joy,” etc. Terms like those mean something to the speaker; if they didn't, the speaker wouldn’t use them. Each person is entitled to our chosen language to say whatever it is we mean. We have a human need to invent words, use them, and develop friendships and cultures where we feel understood. You’re entitled to describe yourself with your own words too and keep the friends you wish. If you've found a sense of coherence in your thought and peace in your life, I'm happy for you.

Of course, mutual correction and clarification is inherent to any discussion. People form meaning together. Sometimes we feel the need to object: “That term rubs me the wrong way because…” But apart from that sort of comment, we usually don’t need to interrupt someone, instruct them to use different words, make them stop talking, or diminish what they’ve said. Just because someone is using a word that makes us feel bewildered or itchy doesn’t mean we have to label that person as having an “ideology” which we then must wholly “reject.” (I draw this connection in case it is the use of a term like “trans joy” that leads you to conclude there is a “trans ideology.”)

There are of course hateful, violent, false ideologies that should be rejected. But trans people saying “cis” instead of “biological” (for example), or “trans” instead of “transsexual” (for another example), or “trans joy” instead of “my joy feels linked to my unique sense of self and my personal experiences as someone who was once diagnosed with ‘transsexualism’” (again), aren’t examples of ideology.

And if someone else has a feeling, experience, label, name, pronoun, hormone, surgery, community, etc.—at whatever age they are, with whatever resources they have—different from what we'd choose for ourselves, we can just listen to them. If we don't want to be affirming (“Congratulations!”), we can at least be quietly respectful: “Pleased to make your acquaintance. Hope everything works out for you.” That’s non-ideological. It's refraining from weighing in.

Ideology would involve concern-trolling strangers that they’re making mistakes with their lives and trying to make their choices illegal, especially if we were to build a sense of self or community around our concern-trolling or activism. I would just not do that.