Yes, that's a really good observation.

Many cis/het people have good intentions or capacity to be inclusive, yet they act strangely around trans/queer people. They wish they knew "the right way" to behave around trans/queer people, and they're frustrated that they don't have a script that works in all cases. (e.g., some people prefer that you correctly assume their gender; others prefer that you ask!) There's no one-size-fits-all answer. A person may not feel confident in doing their own self-improvement work, going with the flow, figuring it out with other people, etc. So they feel stressed, and they end up taking it out on trans/queer people by pointing out how we're different and "weird", and they gravitate toward certain spokespeople for transphobic/homophobic positions so they can say "see, this celebrity says it, so it's a reasonable viewpoint." It may come from laziness or fear of change, rather than strong feelings of hate or disgust.

The good news is that we are all capable of growing!