I, Too, Wish I Had $464 Million By Monday

Oh, the things I would do!

Tucker Lieberman

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cartoon kid in pigtails sitting on a stack of books, reading enthusiastically, against a background of dollar bills
Reader by OpenClipart-Vectors, money by MaryByrne, both from Pixabay

I’d like to have $464 million by Monday morning. I know, a weekend is a short period of time to come up with that kind of cash, so my fantasy is implausible. Mostly, the fantasy just helps me to empathize with Donald Trump for the first time ever. He and I have this in common: We both could use $464 million. Right now.

With that kind of money, I could protect a rainforest.

I could suck a million tonnes of CO2 out of the air with a carbon capture machine.

Knowing myself, I’d buy a stack of good books.

I Could Have Started Earlier

If I really wanted the money by next week, I should have started earlier.

As Trump should have.

He Could Have Started Earlier

New York attorney general Letitia James began investigating Trump five years ago, and she sued him a year-and-a-half ago.

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