This was roughly my reaction too. Those of us who are gay/trans (for example) likely made our choice long ago whether we could have a relationship at all with someone who votes against our basic rights or who participates in discourse that violates our dignity. If we're gay, and if we've somehow maintained a friendship with an anti-gay person for 25 years, and then one day we realize we just can't do it anymore — well, that's a real issue we're having with our friend. It's about being true to each other and true to our values. Maybe the friendship is over. In this situation, the gay person doesn't hate the anti-gay person and thereby escalate and invite reciprocal hate; saying so would be victim-blaming. Something else is going on in this situation. Some relationships end for real reasons, and it can be appropriate for them to end. We can form different relationships with people with whom we have mutual understanding and respect.