Sullivan, as a gay man, uses the word “homophobia.” He used it in 2019 in an Intelligencer article in which he asked whether kids might mistakenly believe they are trans when, in his hypothesis, they might really just suffer from internalized homophobia.

As a gay man, Sullivan is entitled to decide when he wants to use the word “homophobia.” (It would be homophobic of me to tell him he can’t use that word.)

Trans people get to decide what is transphobic.

Being an ally means listening to the community you are trying to help. If someone says, “Hey, that is hurtful and damaging and may reflect unexamined fear/disgust/bigotry,” the true ally says, “Oh gosh, it is time for me to shut up, listen, and learn so that I can do better and be helpful.”

If a trans person says “that is transphobic,” the cis ally cannot respond “whatever, I get to say whatever I want about trans people and decide what I think trans rights should be” and still consider themselves an ally. That is not allyship. That is making up rules for a community about which you are not a part. And that is what Sullivan is doing in his Substack. He is detailing what he calls a “ban” on healthcare for trans kids. Effectively no one from the trans community wants him to write this, and I bet no one asked him to do it. It isn’t helpful.