Such a good observation. Everyone has ways in which they conform to binaries and rules, along with ways in which they don't. Everyone has that complexity and subtlety. It's a tension in all human life.

Queer people of all kinds explore the boundaries of gender/sexuality specifically. Trans people aren't the only ones who have personal convictions about our identities and who also live out our ambiguities and uncertainties. We may do it differently than others, but we don't do it "wrong."

"False purity" is such a good term for this attitude of moral and gender-normative superiority. And by people who should know better!