The Legend of Canselation

Arise, Dame Canselda! Arise, Sir Canseld!

Knight and dolmen by Papafox, unicorns by JL_G, dragon by ractapopulous, all from Pixabay

It helps if you begin as a Liberal, for then you are not only a hero but a Reluctant Hero.

As a Liberal, you believed everything they told you to believe, and you were unfailingly Nice to everyone.

Until one day when they asked you to Believe an Unbelievable Thing. This request was a Bridge Too Far. Certain Words were said.

Thou wert not yet a legend, but still couldst thou become one.

To be legend, three tasks beyond this point must thou have completed:

1. Misbehaved in the eyes of your Overseers, such that they released you from your journeyman contract
2. Become hateful to at least one Friend, such that you no longer spoke
3. Asked a theater to sponsor the Telling of your Tale of Woe, persuaded them to say “yes,” then watched as they changed their answer to “no”

You leaned right, and the door opened.

For it is only they who are crucified who can be resurrected;

It is only they who die who can be born to eternal life;

It is only a canseled program that can rake in a million dollars on-air.

Arise, Dame Canselda!

Arise, Sir Canseld!