It's such a hard position to be in. I wouldn't have a weapon, as I've never wanted one nor learned to use one, and that becomes a self-perpetuating choice for me. Anyway, I moved out of the US, to a country that has a fraction of the gun ownership rate of the US and specifically to a city that has gun control. Not that there is zero risk of personal violence, but the overall context lowers my risk, I believe. Everyone has different experiences and a different calculation based on who they are and how they're being threatened.