If you place conditions on your acceptance of trans people (or think it's fair or prudent for others to do so), perhaps you should see what Fernanda thinks of that. Maybe she has a list of conditions she'd place on the social acceptance of gay men—after all, gay rights are simultaneously crumbling in the US, so perhaps she's thought up a few compromises to give the homophobes half of their demands. Once you discuss it with her, you'll both be on the same page about the way you value each other's identities.