If someone is living in a gender, or even temporarily presenting as that gender, of course they want to be recognized as that gender and not as something else. That's the usual meaning of having a gender. At any moment, they may prefer to emphasize that they're queer/trans/nonbinary, or they may want to "blend in" a bit more and just be seen as a member of a gender like everyone else who is a member of that gender. This isn't extremist. This is just how any social category works. If you move into a new social category, you want others to recognize it in whatever the relevant ways are. If no one in your society recognizes it, you aren't yet in that social category.