I don't think this is a phenomenon of trans people holding extreme beliefs, "overplaying our hand" or otherwise asking for unreasonable treatment.

While the "trans people in sports" discourse has a history going back to the early 20th century, it had died down a bit in public debate after Renée Richards in the 1970s. The anti-trans movement deliberately revived it as an anti-trans messaging point just over the last decade. It wasn't trans people who started it. It's aggressive political hate-messaging disguised as philosophical inquiry.

So if someone comes to me and asks what I believe about other trans people playing sports or getting gender-affirming care — me! I'm not a sports official nor a parent or doctor! I have no say in what other people do with their lives or in their communities! — I don't expect they genuinely want a nuanced opinion from me. I'm not an expert on other people's sports physiology or other people's healthcare or transition choices.

If they ask me (an ordinary person who happens to be trans) what I think, I suspect the only reason they're asking me is to try to get what they'd characterize as "a trans activist" response out of me, i.e., they're trolling and baiting me. They're hoping either for a short oversimplified response that they can tear apart to make me look facile, or else a long detailed response so they can waste my time (sealioning) and selectively quote and misrepresent (breitbarting) whatever it is that I took the time to say. Hence I do not give them the type of response which I have no business cultivating and which they have no genuine interest in hearing. I can say something to to reframe the argument, like "what is the competitive sport you're concerned about? when did you become a fan of it?" or "who is the child you're concerned about? what is your relationship to them?"