Hi Eric,

I'm not the author, but hopefully Johannes won't mind me jumping in, as I believe I understand your question.

For reference, I'm a gay trans man. I transitioned a long time ago.

The medical gatekeepers of transition have long said that a person must claim to be "suffering" with "dysphoria" (bodily and otherwise) — otherwise, the gatekeepers won't approve the person for hormones and surgery because there are no "symptoms" to "treat." The thinking goes: If the person isn't miserable, then they don't "have" to change their sex/gender, so there's nothing important to "help" them with, and why would they (the trans person) or anyone else (a helping professional) bother with this transition? The idea is that transition should only be a last resort, because it is only slightly preferable to suicide.

I've experienced body dysphoria & gender unhappiness strong enough to cause me to transition, so I don't dispute suffering-based narratives about being trans. But I think joy-based narratives are possible too.

A rough analogy is: There are gay people who say they can't be romantically/sexually interested in a person of the "opposite" sex/gender, and some of them have argued for the right to be gay on this basis. They're assuming a hierarchy: being straight would be best, and everyone who can be straight should be straight, but since they personally can't hack it, they should be granted a moral exception and be allowed to be gay. Fortunately, there are other gay-inclusive stances. For example: Bisexual people also exist, and they want the right to be with a "same" sex/gender partner because they think it's equally good and should be equally allowed, not because they are personally unable to enjoy a "different" sex/gender partner. They're not asking to trade one freedom for another just to align with the specific thing they want to do. They want more freedoms.

Personally I couldn't have lived as a woman, but even if I could have enjoyed being a woman, I think I should still have been allowed to transition to be a man. Gender transition is a thing that people should be allowed to do. It would be great if each person could reduce our body/gender-related suffering and find ways to be individually freer & happier, but those pursuits don't need to be tied to the goal of reducing transition. We can strive to be happier in our pre-transition bodies/lives and also allow ourselves to transition. Maybe happiness is possible on both sides, and even if the grass is only slightly greener somewhere else or even if we want to find out whether it's greener, we should be allowed to adventure and try.

I do think it's important for everyone to have more social options regardless of their sex/gender. For example, if a girl really wants to drive a truck, she should be allowed to drive a truck. But I don't think that such options (plus body dysphoria), are the sum total of everything that's going on when someone says "this gender doesn't fit." Another part of the sense of whether gender fits (as one example) is knowing full well how others are perceiving you. A girl might realize she'll never be just "a truck driver," always "a woman who drives a truck." Others are disappointed she's not doing it in heels. They'll comment on that. And so on. So the category of "she" begins to grate. And you—if this is you—could just change to become a "he." You could ask friends to call you "he," and you could try to pass as a man around strangers too. Regardless of what complex emotions are involved (suffering? joy?), it should be a thing you are allowed to do. And you'll remain part of the gender-diverse human tapestry, regardless of how passersby perceive you. Maybe now you're a truck-driving gay man with a ponytail (who has a gender transition in his past), rather than a truck-driving woman (who is cis). You are still struggling with and against gender, but you are doing it in a way that brings you joy and feels like you have a coherent identity that is recognizable to yourself in the mirror. It's not only the question of whether cis women (including you) are allowed to drive trucks. It's more about: Do all the tiny pieces of your life narrative and daily experience cohere in a way that lets you easily say, "This is me"? If you love your tagline as "truck-driving woman [cis and straight]," that's fine. But if it's just not you, you are allowed to be something else. Maybe "truck-driving man [trans and gay]" makes more sense to you. Then that is your own narrative.